Robotics, and the Robotic Lifestyle

by IntrepidCaptain

More often then not, members of the mainstream culture joke that many Steampunks are simply the matured refugees of the Cyberpunk era. While I know this holds true for myself, this is in general an oversimplification of Anachronistic and Sci-Fi subcultures. The most obvious difference being that Anachronistics (usually) live in the civilized and decadent past, while the Cyberpunks prefer a more rugged, crime-infused world that is either in the future or near future. Key word here? Robotics.

However, some woud argue that robotics plays into both subcultures. Let’s disprove this, shall we? First off, steam-powered gadgets are vastly different from the electronic paraphernalia of the cyberpunk. For one, aesthetics. The steampunk hauls around brass gadgetry that is bulky, obvious, and ornate. It’s showy. The whole thing is showy and outlandish and that’s the point, ladies and gentlemen, for much of it. It is a subculture of statement pieces given new meaning via science that has been made obsolete and therefore attractive to those who feel above the current culture (keep in mind I’m a part of this group and therefore not trying to be insulting). Cyberpunks are sleek, chrome, and decked in black and green, glowing blues, with tiny computers and embedded microchips. Wires abound, yes, but these glorified hackers somehow to keep from electrocuting themselves due to the bad-assery of embracing the computer revolution. And is it just me or do cyberpunks seem to get a lot of time running about grimy and rain-slicked city streets, getting into motorcycle chases despite the general sedentary nature of the hacker lifestyle? At least that’s what all my friends and I discovered in the 90s, the glory days of cyberpunk.

And let’s not forget the power of visual learning. If you want an introduction to the cyberpunk world, go rent two earth-shattering films. The Matrix, and Blade Runner. Curious about steampunks? Check out Steamboy and The City of Lost Children. And no, I do not think it’s coincidental that the American movies are cyberpunk and the foreign films are steampunk. It actually makes a lot of sense. In any event, those movies’ll give you a pretty good idea of the vibe of the two subcultures.

But let’s look at the basics of cyberpunk for a moment. The main things to get your head around when it comes to cyberpunk is ONE that the internet is everywhere and is the answer to any and all problems, and TWO robots infiltrate and are a part of everything, even human anatomy. And on that topic, robotics have become quite advanced in the medical world today, reminding me of something that always bugged me about sci-fi movies and the world of Cyberpunk. If you’ve got the nanotech to go in to someone and monitor their vitals, why not (especially since money never seems to be an issue in Cyberpunk-land due to the high demand for hacked info) have those nanobots in there all the time? They could be hooked up to a LCD screen implanted in the arm that shows all vitals, so when you get hit with the poison that’s burrowing into your bloodstream, you can actually get to the hospital, and NOT just take two Advil and a shot of tequila and wait around your wire-cluttered NYC apartment until you feel a little too dizzy. Like a step up from booster shots. It’d take a hell of a lot of strain off your supply of post-apocalyptic heroes.

And of course, as I mentioned in my previous post, technology is getting amped up
to sci-fi proportions in the world of entertainment. The Cyberpunk wet dream of having the hologram-projecting headgear that’ll plug you into the interactive mainframe of Internet 2.0 may just be around the corner with the gadgets breaking into the market these days. Hail the spawn of man and computer, ye believers!

The Future is Now
~ your Captain

All That Glitters is Dead

by BerlinLeatherParisLace

Well, Hallow’een came and went, and the plants around are dead and dying. So The Captain dragged me out of my cave to blog. About spiders and black glitter and Morticia Adams and stuff.

But first– review of The Chron-o-log-i-cal Fla-neur’s Neu Fave Movie…

Rosencrantz and Guildenstern are Undead!

Good things require long waits, and the wait was well worth a movie as witty, fun, and entertaining as this one. No doubt it will be hailed at least as a cult classic.

The ever-cool Sean Lennon teamed up with writer/director Jordan Galland (and a really A1 costumer) to bring us the story of Julian (Jake Hoffman; reminded me a little of J.D. from Scrubs) and his best friend (Kris Lemche) and former flame (Devon Aoki; *wolf-whistle*) and her mayhaps-mafioso lover (Ralph Macchio of Karate Kid fame). They all get caught in the theatrical plots of Theo Horace, played by John Ventimiglia (who brings the sex appeal in full force to this event, as the Sire Vampire should). That dish was flanked by a couple of beautiful bloodthirsty babes. As technically inaccurate the whole “beautiful vampire” thing is I can’t help but adore it when done well. And can’t leave out a shout out to Waris Ahluwalia as yet another character that I want to hug. The whole affair ends with my personal favorite character in the movie, the real Hamlet played by Joey Kern like a 70s gameshow host. Not to pidgenhole this fantastic bunch (I would cringe if they were lost to the dead-end-ville that is the Land of Sequels), but King Lear would be my next vote for  their deft and darkly comedic treatment.

THE BOTTOM LINE….?

Funny and dark romance, new treatment to an old idea, plenty of eye candy, you’ll be quoting it as you leave the theatre. Five Stars from theFlâneurs.

Okay, now about Morticia Adams. And why parents should foist her as a role model on their kids.

The Lovely Lady of the Darkness has been pretty ignored lately. Come on people. Let’s get this chick back in the spotlight, huh? She represents all that is good for the lovers of Dark. And speaking of goths….

The subculture of goth has more or less fallen out of trend (good or bad? well, try shopping goth) and has been morphed into the festering stink that is Emo. And “ScrEmo” doesn’t exist. Whoever thought that a marriage between skaters and goths was doing too much E in the 90s. Being goth isn’t wearing black and listening to Voltaire (as much as I love that sick, sick, man), but also being disgusted with the hypocrisy of mainstream First-World culture. But we should be able to laugh at ourselves! We should laugh, people! Goths with a sense of humor, because hey, we’re all burning in the end anyway, right? That’s what’s missing today. No one grabs an old black dress and a fishnet opera glove and go has a dance in a graveyard these days. Hence my bid to re-crown Morticia Adams as a role model for goths everywhere. You just can’t beat a perfectly poised, deliciously dark woman (who obviously can get down if you look close at those comments dropped by Gomez and Fester). Seriously, guys.

O, and lets bash Kids Today a little more. There’s a strong stink of whimpification coming from ‘em. Goth is not the next stage of Whimpo–I mean Emo. Let me make this clear. There is a HUGE difference between pink-and-black checkerboard “ooo look I’ve got a skull-and-bows tattoo tee hee tee hee” little teeny bopper in the corner and the girl who collects dead birds and dresses like Emily Strange’s drab cousin. I don’t even think I need to go into it. But enough of that, I’m gonna tell you why Morticia Addams, bless her, is the perfect role model, parents of the Interwebs.

PROs: Modesty

One thing many parents with daughters worry about is their little baby princess’ promiscuity. Well, look at the women–if you can call them that–of Hollywood today! Morticia, on the other hand, is demure, ladylike, and has her sh*t together in general. Yeah, she gets down with her husband, but no one else, that’s for sure. She’s not an Ice B*ch, she’s got standards, and she’s got self-respect. But she doesn’t shove it down your throat. She just naturally radiates class. I don’t think any jock tried any funny business with her in the hallways, s’all I’m sayin’…

PROs: Intelligence

What is the one thing most kids agree parents are freaking out over? Grades. Being intelligent and mentally well-rounded is a huge boon to anyone, and concerned parents everywhere are rallying tutors and programs and all sorts of fancy cr*p to get their precious lil dumplings a leg up. Well, a kid’s not gonna learn if they’re bored or don’t see how it’ll help them in the real world. Most kids I know, even now in college, they just chug along at the minimum, getting a business degree ’cause they’re not into academics and think they’ll figure it out later, or getting a general degree ’cause they can’t decide and they’re not interested in deciding anyway. But enough; how would Morticia inspire otherwise, you ask? Have you seen this woman? Well spoken, an excellent conversationalist, and rather often seen with a book in her hand. This woman is obviously well-educated and is the kind of mom to value it in her kids (even though she doesn’t play up the mom-figure bit nearly as much as her TV-Land counterpart Lily Munster).

PROs: Glamour

As I’ve said before in varying ways, Morticia Addams was one classy broad. It’s hard not to respect a woman of her ilk, and it all comes part and parcel with the glam, baby. Presentation is key, and this is something that Kids Today are sorely lacking. If anyone had presentation, the ability to get attention (of some sort) and get respect just by walking into a room, it was Morticia. It all goes back to all the things I’ve been talking about for the whole post. She had poise, she had wit, she got respect. Parents with bad kids, or afraid they’ll become bad kids? Have them watch a bit of Addams Family, and Morticia will surely teach them the ways of the well-dressed and well-mannered. Why am I so confident of this? Because kids will always imitate what they see, especially when they’re young and impressionable. Also, they love to get a reaction out of the adults. And if they go around imitating Morticia and Wednesday, they’re guaranteed a reaction from most adults, which will only reinforce the behavior. Obviously, I’m not talking about the goons aged 12+. They’re a lost cause due to bad parenting in most cases. Not even Morticia can help them now. So parents, again, the younger you start, the better the results.

Alright, people, that’s three reasons, and this post is already getting long. So let me finish off and sign off. Later.

Travelogue for Whirlies

by WickedWickedDandy

Well dears, I woke up the other day and was Sebastian Flyte. By that, I mean I was hung over, on a beach, in Morocco, had no money on me, and my mother was worried. (If you don’t understand, then go read THIS you uncultured hooligan) But now, I’m cleaned up, have a new lighter, and am sitting in an airport terminal at an internet cafe. And I am blogging! Gosh! My sakes!

And unfortunately darlings, I have not much to say to you. Unless you have a facination for Moroccan nightlife (not that I got a typical slice of it). Then, prepare to be enthralled.

Living in a tent on a beach is rather fun if you do not mind being harassed by police or having to guard oneself from being knifed or sodomized by drifters on a nightly basis. It is easier if you sleep in the day and are awake at night (of course, this leaves you open to being photographed in your sleep by tourists). The plus side of all this is the nightlife one discovers. Or, as I often did, the nightlife one creates for oneself.

PARTYING WITH NO MONEY IN MOROCCO

…can be a drag, as there is no alcohol unless you are a foriegner (like me) with money (not like me). BUT Morocco is absolutely heaven for gate crashers. I never had to worry about a meal! I simply would wander in at the sidelines of one of the many gatherings, slide up to the buffet, chat with someone while filling my plate, dance a bit, then leave. Honestly loves, the more the merrier at a party! And speaking of partying…

DRUGS

…can help with everything except your relationship with the local police, so I don’t recommend it. Though it is easy to come by, especially when you’re sleeping at Chateau Hobo. Especially good places to get them are clubs, which I had trouble finding, I’ll admit. I was hoping to find my way to the White Room, which I had heard so much of in university, but never got there due to the, ahem, aroma I started to emit after about a week. Wandering around Marrakech can be fun, though, and I highly recommend just wandering around the streets at night, though I did get mugged so I would stick to the better lit ones next time.

CLUBS

…can get a little expensive. However, after busking for enough money to buy deoderant and a decent meal, I was able to get into Le Diamant Noir, which I thought looked a little chavy, but maybe it was just the music. I am not saying I do not like R&B, but stumbling upon the heavy bass during a peaceful night killed the mood a tad. But the fact that there was a pizza parlor right there near the entrance cheered me up a bit. I just had enough to get into the club after that delicious slice, however, so no drinks for me. It’s amazing how easily one can spend money.

Le Diamant Noir is a rollicking good time, though. When you get tired of dancing, there’s this wonderful balcony that runs round above the dance floor, which is a treat for people-watching. One of my favorite hobbies. There was this one poor boy, obviously painfully new to the game, who spent the whole night trying to get a dance and failing. He was left dancing awkwardly alone in a circle of people with their backs to him. If he hadn’t been so pushy and greasy I might have given him a pity-dance.

Well, there is no more to tell you, dears, since I was only in this situation for about two months. Next time I go to Morocco, I’ll be sure to make a hotel reservation and bring money, so as to have more to write about.

Cheers.

The Anachronistic Love Affair

by IntrepidCaptain

These days, it’s hard to be a freak.

As one of the many New Yorkers that is thrilled the Dances of Vice season is again in full swing, I have a happily full events schedule that requires my closet resemble a small costume shop (not that I’m complaining). But as I was shopping at Steinlauf & Stoller for corsetry materials and wondering if Obscura would have the perfect acessory for me to show off at Club Wits End, I wondered: why do we love to be the past? Not just reinvent it, not just attend a throwback party, but why do we feel happiest living and breathing in the musky depths of history?

Of course, I’m not speaking to all of you. I’m speaking to those of you reading this in waistcoats and smoking jackets, the latest Prince Poppycock song playing in the backround as you sip your gin-laced camomile tea. Actually I just described Milo, there.

So, for those of you already wise in the ways of anachronism, this essay might be a bit tedious. For everyone else, this is a nice little letter of welcome.

It is the perceived decadence and glamour, of course, that drives us to the past when we find the modern world too tiresome, and too ugly. Plain and simple. And because we glorify the things we are enamored with, such nasty bits as rampant diseases, prohibition, and that would today be called homophobia and anti-feminism are glossed over and even romanticized. Which isn’t hard to do, of course, if one looks first at the lifestyle and beauty of the people in the past, such as the courtiers and nobles of the court of Louis XIV. To make life one massive glittering party, full of intrigue for intrigue’s sake, where the boring tedium is actually a pleasure in itself because of where you are.

We at the Chronological Flâneur are a bit biased, of course, since we share the dream of becoming the next batch of Bright Young Things.

Granted, it seems to take a special person to see all this through the drab history texts they hand out on public schools these days, but recent movies such as Marie Antoinette seem to be bringing this ideal–however sickeningly “pop” it sometimes is–to a new generation. Though, if you’re looking for a good “steampunk movie,” watch The City of Lost Children, starring Ron Perlman. But I digress…

Fashion, as one may have guessed, is a mainstay in expressing this sort of lifestyle. That and fantastic parties with baroque dancers and piles of cushions and huge amounts of cocktails and wine. Men’s clothing has changed so little since the 1700s that it provides and easy outlet for both genders. Simply get yourself a few eye-catching waistcoats, tons of white button-down shirts, and some nice trousers. Three-piece suits and ascots don’t hurt, either.

The dandy look doesn’t sit well with all women, however, and here one must turn to places such as etsy or a goth store, if your own prowess can’t measure up. Flowing layers of tulle and a corset do nicely for most tastes, but in the winter especially, a peacoat over a victorian-inspired top works well with a long shirt or slacks. The “lacy-bib” look seems to be catching on quite a bit, making those tops easier to find.

The other side to this wonderful craze, is, of course, re-inventing it and superimposing it on the future. That’s right! Good-ol’ dystopianism is a fertile platform for the forward-thinking steampunk.

For those of you that have yet to read A Steampunk’s Guide to the Apocalypse, you have no excuse since I am now presenting you with a link to read it for free. Of course, it’s so awesome you just might want to purchase it anyway, or at least print out your own bootleg copy, like I did. This book may be the quintessential tool to understanding the coolness (and obsessiveness) of the steampunk.

And again, fashion comes strongly into play, with decked-out welding goggles and leather gloves folded over trench coats making the scene. White button-downs and vests still are the basics of this niche of anachronism, but the scientific preoccupation makes for a lot more wiggle room in your wardrobe. Covering yourself with brass and leather and strange gadgetry is a must, however. Otherwise you’re just being plain old anachronistic.

The post-apocalypse cool doesn’t end in fashion, of course. The art world (some amazing pieces, in fact) has also joined in, and might even be said to have started it back with films like Metropolis. And certainly, people have been remodeling everything from wallpaper to computers to make them more archaic. Making otherwise mundane things of of cogs or wood is one example.

As previously stated, the scientific edge to this alternate lifestyle allows for all sorts of wiggle room. You don’t have to dress steampunk on a constant basis to bring science and experimentation in to your life. Making your own starcharts, for example, by recording your nightly findings from your home-made telescope brings a huge sense of accomplishment with it. As a huge astrophysics geek, the possibility of combining antique starcharts with my daily routine is very exciting. Collecting is also a huge part of the scientific lifestyle, and in the near future I will be posting a bit specifically on Wonder Cabinets and Curiosities.

Why one wouldn’t get a little old-fashioned is honestly beyond me. Grab some absinthe and a military jacket and join the party!

~your Captain

(All photos taken from the Dolce & Gabbana Fall Fashion 2006 campaign)

Everything the Starship Needs

by IntrepidCaptain

Let’s take a look at how close we are to achieving the glamorous future promised us by the recent Hollywood Sci-Fi blockbusters, shall we? The future is closer then you think, as you’ll see in the following comparisons.

SPACE TRAVEL

FICTION: Spacecraft can house hundreds of people for voyages that can last for years, or days, depending on the destination. They can warp through space, survive black holes, and seem to run on some sort of nuclear energy. They are equipt with anything and everything you could need, and they are (generally) beautiful and comfortable.

FACT: With construction on the Space Elevator underway, and millionaires taking vacations up in space, this sort of space travel, while not in the NEAR future, seems almost inevitable. The space elevator is going to be a cable, extending into Earth’s orbit, that will act like a slingshot, sending spacecraft into space with minimal fuel. Since about 70% (possibly more) of spacecraft are used simply for fuel storage to get out of the atmosphere. The Space Elevator would, therefore, not only be economical and green by saving on fuel, but would allow for more astronauts and scientific equipment into space. This would usher in the possibility of more competitive designs and manufacturing for spacecraft, which not only would be a boon to the engineers out there, but would be a boon to scientists. This opens up the possibility–already much discussed–of moving all nuclear waste disposal into space, as well as, hopefully, nuclear energy plants themselves (but don’t ask me to give you the particulars on that). Farming on the moon, yes, I said it in seriousness, is the next step. Space is a resource!

That said, organizations like NASA can’t get monetary support from the government if the public isn’t paying attention to them. These days, people are more concerned about what’s the latest from shows like American Idol, rather then how far we’ve explored space. And that puts the minority of people who want o get on that spaceship and explore the watery depths of Io (ie, me) ever further away from the future that we are capable of creating.

HOLOGRAMS

FICTION: Holograms are in frequent use as a tool for teaching, strategic planning, in the hospital, for combat training, and for communications. Reception seems to depend on distance from the source as well as atmospheric (or something) interference. Quality and color depends on, I don’t know, probably if you bought a Mac or PC device.

FACT: Nightcrawler’s tail from the X-Men movie, Toyota’s commercial campaigns, and Diesel’s Summer 2008 runway show all used interactive holograms that pushed the envelope. But can this get into our homes, workplaces, and classrooms? Why, yes. Developments in such technologies as light feilds, video games,  interactive projections and 3D holograms, and educational art show us the way. Step one has already been taken with the Wii. Yes, the Wii.

COMMUNICATORS

FICTION: Communicators that are voice-activated, hologram-projecting, GPS-equipt, semi-intelligent microchip computers embedded in our skin, worn on the wrist or clipped to the shirt are so common as to be mundane.

FACT: I was very excited when I saw the design for the Trou at the future mobile competition, especially since it got such a supportive reception. Other gizmos, such as those seen on sites like Tuvie’s , (this is my personal favorite–I want a cell phone that’s as big a drunk as I am) show that those cell phone designers out there are pretty serious when they say “holograms have many applications.”

HOVERCRAFTS

FICTION: There are as many kinds of hovercraft, in as many shapes, colors and sizes, as cars. Some are the size of yachts. All are fitted with, of course, hologram technology or something similarly alien to those of us twiddling our thumbs in 2009.

FACT: Already the cutting-edge-must-have mode of water transport, hovercrafts are nonetheless a far cry from the sleek, high-speed floating machines we see in nearly all forms of science fiction. I myself made one with my siblings as a science project while home schooled, and we had fun riding around the driveway on the incredibly loud flying-saucer-shaped thing after about five hours of construction. Our neighbors were terrified.

But I digress.

Hovercraft are, in fact, a viable means of transport. They come in all shapes, sizes, and speeds, but they are too new to be trusted on the same road as a car. However, since they can travel almost any (solid?) flat surface, you can probably get around on one off-road. If you have the cash and are the same kind of person who would have bought Nicolas Cugnot’s contraption in 1769.

The Future is Now
~your Captain